It was a perfect snow. We stayed in most of the weekend with the fire going and just relaxing.
On Sunday we went to my grandma's house for lunch. At one point we were alone in the living room and she tells me it's been on her heart to talk to me about IF. (Thanks Dad for spilling the beans!) I wasn't upset that he told her because I think he was just trying to keep her from asking me about kids every time she sees me. Anyway, she told me it took her 3 years to conceive her first child and three years after that for the second. So yes, she did struggle with infertility, but back then they didn't really have many treatment options so she didn't. But her grand advice for me? RELAX. Yes sistas, my grandma gave me the most cliche and hurtful advice possible. I can't. I love her, but I just can't even. Ugh.
So then my aunt walks by and says "did I hear you saying you and E are trying to have a baby", cue sigh, "Yes we are aunt T, but we are dealing with infertility". She then has this long talk with me about her struggle with infertility which of course ended with being child free not by choice. It was heartbreaking to hear. I remember her miscarriage when I was younger, but I really didn't know the whole story of her IF, miscarriages, adoption promises being ripped away from her right before the baby was to come home with her. It was heartbreaking. I wanted to cry for her and I did later in private. I just prayed that when she was in the thick of it she had someone to talk to like I do with y'all. I'm thinking about writing her an email telling her how much it meant to me that she shared her story with me, but I don't know if it's too painful for me to bring up to her. All in all I learned so much about my grandma and aunt. I can't believe how strong the both of them are.
-L
Wow. That is amazing. I'm tearing up just reading your post and that was just a snippet of her story. And yes, we're all here for each other - none of us are alone in this. I'm glad you had a great weekend - I hope you got to "unwind" some!!! <3 you!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your grandma gave you the "relax" line. Some people think that by saying that it will make things better, but they just don't understand.
ReplyDeleteI don't know your aunt, but I would think an email thanking her for sharing her story would be nice.