I'm still here.....kinda

I know I've been MIA and a few of you knew to expect that from me, but I wanted to check in and give you an update on my life as of this moment.

After much discussion and thinking it through E and I have decided to take a break from any treatments, a long break.  We were just so exhausted with all the emotions, timing of sex, and me being on meds that we felt it was best for us right now.  I feel like I've been in a depression (something I have struggled with since I was 14) for a long time now.  I've been so focused on getting pregnant that I let go of myself.  There are so many ways to deal with IF.  Some people are full force ahead with treatment and some of us just need to take it slow.  I haven't been on TB much or blogs just because to truly give myself a break I need to stop reading about it every day of my life.  I'm still doing the best I can to get caught up in all of your lives when I do get on here though!  I miss you all so so much!!

So for now, I am focusing on me.  I am working out and eating healthy to hopefully have a body worth showing this summer.  I've already lost 6.5lbs!  I'm pampering myself with all the girly things I had put on the back burner as well.  E and I just want to get really healthy, have an amazing summer together, then regroup after the summer is over.  I'm assuming we will move right into and IUI at the end of the summer.  By then I hope to be in my healthy weight range and my RE won't have a damn thing to say about my weight anymore! lol.  And as always, we pray that we get a miracle BFP in the meantime during break, but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.  I'm going to do my best to update here and there on my weight loss and general life when I can.  I hope I don't miss any BFPs and I'll be stalking you all when I do get on here!  Love you girls!!

-L

Updates

I feel like I have so much to update on!  So first let's start with my trip to Arizona.  We had one great weather day and the rest were rainy and cold.  But I didn't let that ruin my time.  Most of the time I was going to dinners and getting wasted and I only had one day of true meetings.  It was a lot of fun and also so much drama, because anytime you mix alcohol and co-workers you get drama.  Here are some pics.

 

This Boulder House.  A full mansion built inside a billion year old boulder.

 

 

 

Some of the girls at the 100% dinner.  We are considered "Best of the Best" lol

 

Awards cocktail hour

 

 

My BFF and I

 

My team member and I

 

Jimmy Eat World performed for us

 

 

I am so happy to be home now though!  Now for TTC stuff.

 

E called me while I was in AZ and told me he found out that next year we will have up to 20k in infertility treatment coverage from our insurance!  I started crying when he told me.  If this turns out to be true I feel incredibly blessed.  So for now we are just taking a mental break.  We both just want some time to pay off bills, save up money, and just enjoy each other without always worrying about IF.  I don't know how long this break will last yet.  I'll try to keep blogging as much TTC stuff as I can, but you may start seeing more posts just about life in general (since I'll be trying to live it lol). 

 

Today I'm on CD17, no clue if I've O'd or not, but I just found that I am having dark brown light flow.  Not sure if this is AF coming freakishly early or just another think God has thrown at me to keep me wondering about our IF.  I've called my RE now and left a message to see if it is anything to even give two thoughts to.

 

-L

 

 

 



Short and Sweet

Hello lovely ladies!  I'm in a funk and totally overwhelmed with IF right now so it's hard for me to even put a post together about all that is going through my mind. 

I'm leaving this week for a work conference in Arizona and will be sure to come back with lots of pics and updates next week!  Hope you all have a wonderful week!!

-L