Current Wants

Now that I am in deep with home rennovations I have a huge list of wants!  The problem is between the cost of rennovating and IF there isn't much left for these pretties.  Bummer.  Here are a few on my next to buy list:


I looove this blue moroccan rug from Overstock.  I think this would look amazing in my bedroom!

Ikat curtains from West Elm.  I really like these, but I think I would have to take them to someone to put better backing on them.  They are a little too see through for me.

 

 

And I pretty much want all these pillows from Etsy!

 

 

 

So now anyone know where I can find a money tree?

 

-L

Floors!

I feel like I've been doing so much lately in my personal life, but only tend to blog about TTC.  Yes, I do have a life outside of obsessing about IF! lol.  I guess I just forget to post anything because I avoid pictures lately.  My body has been hit bad during IF and I really hate the way I look.  Extra pounds look really bad on me :/  

The floors are coming along great!  I really did not expect them to look as good as they do.  Get ready for a lot of pics!  Oh and please forgive the messiness.  When you are doing a huge home project everything is a mess at the time.  And this is not the finished product yet.

Kitchen





 

 

Dining

 

 

Walk area?  Not sure what this area is called lol

 

Hallway

 

 

Living Room

 

 

 

 

Entry way

 

 

 

 

Ok so now all that is left is the future nursery, guest bedroom and master bedroom.  And of course, my job which is painting all the baseboards ugh.

-L

Everyone Likes Awards!

Thank you to Alexis over at Our Journey Through This Lovely Life for nominating me for the Liebster Award.  This award is given to new or up-and coming-bloggers who have less that 200 followers.  I know I did this a while back, but let's just do it again for fun!

If you are nominated you need to answer my 11 questions I post on here then nominate your own bloggers to answer 11 questions you come up with . 

 

Questions from Alexis:

 

 

1. Have you ever had stitches?:   If you count stitches from having my wisdom teeth removed

2. Do you make a wish at 11:11?  Oh for sure! I make a wish at any superstitious event.

3. Have you ever seen a shooting star?  Yes.  I saw one just the other night and when there is a meteor shower E and I will go to "star parties" where a bunch of astrology geeks get out their big telescopes and watch the sky.

4. Beach or Snow Covered Mountains?  Beach!  I hate being cold.

5. High Heels or Flats?   This is a tough one.  I have a ton of gorgeous heels because they are so pretty, but they hate feet.  So most of the time I wear flats unless it's a special event.

6. Dress or Pants?: Either one is fine with me.  I'm comfy in both.

7. Do you color your hair? If yes, how many colors have you had your hair?:  I do.  I'm a dirty blonde naturally, but I like to be Dolly Parton Blonde.  I have only had my hair many shades of blondes and once dark brunette.

8. What was your favorite class in school?:  I went to a very small school so during my high school "gym" period, the teacher let me instruct my own yoga class for the girls.  I loved teaching it and wish I still kept up with my yoga more.

9. Do you remember your dreams?: Yes, and it's actually kind of freaky, but a lot of my dreams turn into reality.  Most of what I dream will happen shortly after I dream about it.  Even in other's lives.

10. Do you dream in color or black and white?  Always in color

11. What is your favorite past time?: Lately it has been watching episodes of Revenge all cuddled in bed.  But usually I like to work out.

 

My Questions for my nominees:

 

 

1.  What irks you the most about your job?

2.  What is your favorite smell?

3.  Overused phrase?

4. Best workout machine in the gym?

5. Favorite skin care line?

6. Do you know any other languages?

7. When was the last time you went to a nightclub?

8. Advice you'd give your 16 year old self?

9.  Best TV series and why?

10.  Which celeb inspires you?

11. Words of encouragement for someone having trouble conceiving?

 

 

 

My Nominees!!

 

 

1. Sabrina at Free Aire

2. Nicole at In Nic's Mind

3. Janet at Just A Little Off Kilter....

4. Kristy at Strength, Hope, and Everything Inbetween

5. Patty at Love on a Dark Street

 

 

 

 

 

Beta

I never realized what an important day Beta day is. It is the the final word.  The finale to all your hard work, tears, and hopes.  It was either all for nothing or the best day of your life. 

I decided not to test after testing out my trigger.  There is no rhyme or reason to that, just what I felt like doing this cycle.  I already knew it was a BFN days ago.  Just a feeling I had.  I wonder what it will feel like the day I finally get a BFP.  What must that even be like?  I know deep down inside it will happen one day.  I just know it. 

But today is not my day to find out what that feels like.  Shirly called to tell me it was negative and that RE wants me to do one more cycle of Letrozole + trigger +TI. 

-L

Calling It

My trigger tested out completely today.  At 12dpo I'm going to go ahead and call this cycle a BFN.  I go for my beta on Thursday so we will be able to move on to a new cycle after that.  I really hate taking progesterone and having to wait until beta to stop it.  It takes a few days for AF to come after I stop it and just prolongs a failed cycle.

I really have nothing else to update so I'm cutting it short today.  Hope you all have a great day!

-L

CD19 and P4

The trigger is almost out of my system now.  There was a very faint line this morning. Hopefully it will be out soon so it won't mess with my mind.  If the faint line sticks around too long I'll start going crazy!

So I looked back over my RE report today from my last monitoring appointment and it looks like that follie was actually 22mm!  I'm really pleased with that number.  Also, RE put notes in there that E and I "asked a lot of questions, which were answered".  I guess she felt like we were grilling her enough for her to mention it in the report, but I really don't care.  This is my body, money and future I am trusting her with.  I have a right to ask what her reasoning is behind our treatment plan.  I have a right to understand what I'm doing and not just follow her blindly.  She can just get over it.

I went in bright and early to have my P4 drawn.  Today I got a different girl than I usually do which of course caused anxiety for me.  If you can't tell I'm not big on change. Anyway, my progesterone was low yet again.  12.4 :(  At least this time RE thought it was still worth saving and is starting me on 100mg of Prometrium 2x daily.  I'm just praying that there is a possibility that this could still be a successful cycle even with the low P4.

What do you think?

-L

CD16

Today is CD16 and 4DPO.  Nothing new to report except I swear every month around this time I get little twinges in what I think is my ute.  No I do not think this is implantation (I've been at this too long to be naive)  I'm just curious what is going on in there.  I have this fear that my lining is already starting to break down this early and that is what I'm feeling.  I'm sure it's nothing.  I've had a lot more creamy CM than usual.  I almost feel like I'm starting AF, yeah that's what it feels like....gross.

I'm still testing out my trigger and it is getting a lot lighter:

In other news, I lost 8lbs and then fell off the wagon on Saturday.  I'm still waiting for the will power to get back on.  I hate struggling with my weight like this.

Hope you all have a great Monday!

-L

New DX

Yesterday we had our monitoring appointment.  I was so worried with me O'ing early that my body would not be ready for it.  Turns out I have one follie on the right at 21mm and my lining is at 9!  I was thrilled to hear that.  

Also, I finally got some answers from my RE.  She is horrible at articulating what is going on with you.  It's like she understands it all, but fails to explain everything to her patient.  We knew we were going for a second opinion anyway so we decided to really ask her a ton of question regardless of how uncomfortable it got. Boy am I glad we did that!  She showed me the ultrasound of the little cysts all over my ovary and explained what all my blood work meant.  Finally she said you have PCOS and that is why I'm am doing the treatment I am with you.  She even said "there is a method to my madness", which to me means she knows we don't trust her. lol.  Anyway, she really spoke to us in detail about the medications I'm taking and how they work in your body to achieve the outcome we are wanting.

She is still a strange duck, but I like her a little more after yesterday.  So even though you wouldn't think hearing that something is wrong with you is a good thing, I feel so so so relieved!  I'm so happy we are no longer in the "unexplained" category.  Now we know what is wrong and we know how to move forward (not blindly).   I triggered yesterday and am just doing TI this cycle.  Today should be O day!

-L

Second Opinion

I have been thinking about this for a while.  While I do like my RE, sometimes I really doubt what she is saying and her treatment plans.  Maybe I'm just a control freak and that's why I never trust anyone or maybe my intuition is telling me to doubt her.  Whatever the case may be I finally made the decision to get a second opinion.

There is a fertility center here in Nashville with a RE that has great reviews.  One of my friends actually is pregnant with twins right now thanks to him.  She raves about him and his staff all the time.  I wanted to see him for a while, but he is much more expensive than my current RE.  However, if her treatment plans keep failing miserably and she keeps putting me back in the same treatment that didn't work before the price will add up anyway.

I called the new RE and they told me he will go over all my testing that has been done and treatment, do a pelvic ultrasound, and talk to me about what his plan of action would be.  The girl on the phone assured me he can move as slow or fast as I like and work with my financial stance.

They are booked up until February 22nd, but I am so happy I finally made the decision to do this!  Of course I'm praying I will be KTFU by then, but in case I'm not we have a backup plan. I feel like 2013 is going to be the year we get pregnant!!!

And just for laughs I thought this was funny!

-L

CD6

Nothing much to report today.  My last day of Femera is tomorrow and I'm praying I don't O early this cycle.  I need all the prayers I can get right now ladies!

I have survived 4 days on this awful diet!  That is more than I can say for my past attempts.  I know it's not good to weigh too often, but I have already lost 1.5lbs.  There is a lot more where that came from so I'm hoping it comes off quick.  Is it bad that one of the reasons I would be so happy to get pregnant this cycle is so I could bail on this diet? hahaha!!  That's just one of my many many reasons.  This is my motivational pic to help me keep going.  I was in super great shape here and had just got done sparing with a boxing champion. I'm on the left.

I am also sitting here waiting on FedEx to deliver my hardwood floors.  I'm already way overwhelmed by how much work this is going to be.  Ugh.

Anyway, hope you all have an amazing weekend!!!

-L

CD4

As you can tell by the title, I am in a new cycle.  We are doing the same thing this month as last.  I will take 5mg of Letrozole CD3-CD7, trigger and do TI.  All I'm hoping for this month is that I don't O super early and that my progesterone is normal.

So anyway, with a new year comes a fresh start.  I of course like many other people have started my diet again and working out like always.  I have got to take off this way and I have enlisted the help of two of my besties.  

Also, I want to eliminate toxic people from my life this year.  I deactivated my facebook account this morning so I don't have to see all the posts that make me so angry lately.  I'm not interested in people who make their lives sound so much better than what it is. Lying about your life is just sad.  So that is gone for at least a few months.  If you need to get in touch with me just comment on here and I'll send you my email address.

My last "resolution" is to focus more on other things besides infertility.  E and I decided to dive into a huge house project.  We will be putting hardwood down in our entire main level of the house.  This is going to take forever and keep me really busy after work.  I'm going to post pics as it's coming along.

-L