Organizing

Let's get this straight.  I hate cleaning, organizing, decorating or anything else that is domestic.  I'm just not good at it and just like a brat I don't enjoy doing things I'm not instantly good at.  But it is high time I spring clean this house and give it an organizational overhaul!

I've taken to Pinterest for ideas and the advice from a Martha Stewart clone I work with.  Maybe purging a bunch of crap I don't need anymore will be good for me.  I just can't stand looking at this mess anymore. 

Here is a short list of to do's:

-Redo closet: This means getting rid of a ton of stuff, adding new shelving, and finding a good spot for everything.

-Organize pantry:  I've got to get all those food storage containers and line my shelves to make them pretty.

-Laundry Room:  Just make a spot for everything instead of throwing mops, brooms, swiffers, etc in the corner by the hot water heater.

-Coat closet: I want to hang a curtain rod on the door to nicely hang scarves, hats, and gloves.

So do any of you wonderful ladies have organizational tips that could change my life?

-L

A decision has been made

During date night with E this weekend we started talking about his job and how he is ready to pursue something more with possibly a new company.  One of the reason's he has stayed with his current job is because of our insurance coverage and how it really is covering a lot more than we expected.  So because he is very ready to move on with his career, he wants to jump back into IF treatment immediately.  Basically the idea is, we need this coverage for a few of the IUI realated things that are being covered (much to our surprise).  So let's move forward with IUI's.  If it works then great he can start looking for new work options, if it does not work then he will know he needs to stick around until next year when full IF coverage will be given to us for IVF.

E says he has just been waiting on me to be ready to go back into treatment, but wanted to explain his opinion on it to me.  My feelings are that I don't want him to feel tied to his job because of insurance, but let's get real, any coverage is a blessing and it's worth doing whatever we have to do to have it.  And even though this is a little sooner than I planned, I'm really excited to give it a try again!  I am very nervous about being disappointed and going back to that dark place I was in a few months ago though.  So a lot of mixed emotions, but our overall goal is to start a family so it's time to move forward. 

We will both be traveling a lot in May so June will be our first IUI!!!!  

-L

Updates!

Hello my lovely ladies!  I have updates on my weight loss and TTC so I thought I'd share. 

First, let's start with my weight loss progress.  I have been eating really healthy and working out like a champ.  My diet is basically eating around 1200 calories and making sure all those foods are low glycemic.  The biggest problem I'm having is trying to make sure I eat every 2-3 hours.  I feel like I'm eating sooo much food!  I haven't even drank soda of any sort in over a month.  That is huge for me!  For my first month I lost a total of 18lbs!!!  I'm only 10lbs away from my wedding weight and about 24lbs from my healthy BMI.  My BFF and I started this hardcore Zumba class and it is amazeballs.  I burn about 700cals in one class alone.  So in regards to my health I am moving in the right direction!

Now to TTC.  I am still taking my Metformin and doing OPK's.  I tried so hard to keep myself from OPK's but I just couldn't lol.  Ever since stopping treatment I hadn't been able to get a positive and my periods have been coming very very early.  Well so far this cycle I'm having a lot of EWCM, which is not something I get often.  Last night and today I finally got a positive OPK!!  So of course we are really giving it the old college try this cycle.

I'm trying to give myself a break from always thinking about TTC, but I don't think that is possible when it's something you want so very badly.  I can't help but fantasize if I were to actually get a natural BFP this cycle it would be perfectly timed with Mother's Day.  I'm flying in to see my parents on Mother's Day and E will be spending that day with his mom too here at home.  I imagined a scenario where when I get to my parent's house we could casually skype with his parent's when he is at their house.  At the same time we could present our mother's with a gift for Mother's day that would announce we are pregnant.  That would be a dream come true.  Trying not to get my hopes up and realize my chances of conceiving naturally are slim to none. 

Oh also, I requested all my testing records from that 2nd RE I went to.  It was like pulling teeth to get them to give me my own health records, but they should be here any day.  I'm so worried there will be bad news in there like my egg quality is bad or something.  I could use any prayers of success with this cycle or just that my records look good if you have any prayers to spare.

Love you all!!

-L

I'm still here.....kinda

I know I've been MIA and a few of you knew to expect that from me, but I wanted to check in and give you an update on my life as of this moment.

After much discussion and thinking it through E and I have decided to take a break from any treatments, a long break.  We were just so exhausted with all the emotions, timing of sex, and me being on meds that we felt it was best for us right now.  I feel like I've been in a depression (something I have struggled with since I was 14) for a long time now.  I've been so focused on getting pregnant that I let go of myself.  There are so many ways to deal with IF.  Some people are full force ahead with treatment and some of us just need to take it slow.  I haven't been on TB much or blogs just because to truly give myself a break I need to stop reading about it every day of my life.  I'm still doing the best I can to get caught up in all of your lives when I do get on here though!  I miss you all so so much!!

So for now, I am focusing on me.  I am working out and eating healthy to hopefully have a body worth showing this summer.  I've already lost 6.5lbs!  I'm pampering myself with all the girly things I had put on the back burner as well.  E and I just want to get really healthy, have an amazing summer together, then regroup after the summer is over.  I'm assuming we will move right into and IUI at the end of the summer.  By then I hope to be in my healthy weight range and my RE won't have a damn thing to say about my weight anymore! lol.  And as always, we pray that we get a miracle BFP in the meantime during break, but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.  I'm going to do my best to update here and there on my weight loss and general life when I can.  I hope I don't miss any BFPs and I'll be stalking you all when I do get on here!  Love you girls!!

-L

Updates

I feel like I have so much to update on!  So first let's start with my trip to Arizona.  We had one great weather day and the rest were rainy and cold.  But I didn't let that ruin my time.  Most of the time I was going to dinners and getting wasted and I only had one day of true meetings.  It was a lot of fun and also so much drama, because anytime you mix alcohol and co-workers you get drama.  Here are some pics.

 

This Boulder House.  A full mansion built inside a billion year old boulder.

 

 

 

Some of the girls at the 100% dinner.  We are considered "Best of the Best" lol

 

Awards cocktail hour

 

 

My BFF and I

 

My team member and I

 

Jimmy Eat World performed for us

 

 

I am so happy to be home now though!  Now for TTC stuff.

 

E called me while I was in AZ and told me he found out that next year we will have up to 20k in infertility treatment coverage from our insurance!  I started crying when he told me.  If this turns out to be true I feel incredibly blessed.  So for now we are just taking a mental break.  We both just want some time to pay off bills, save up money, and just enjoy each other without always worrying about IF.  I don't know how long this break will last yet.  I'll try to keep blogging as much TTC stuff as I can, but you may start seeing more posts just about life in general (since I'll be trying to live it lol). 

 

Today I'm on CD17, no clue if I've O'd or not, but I just found that I am having dark brown light flow.  Not sure if this is AF coming freakishly early or just another think God has thrown at me to keep me wondering about our IF.  I've called my RE now and left a message to see if it is anything to even give two thoughts to.

 

-L

 

 

 



Short and Sweet

Hello lovely ladies!  I'm in a funk and totally overwhelmed with IF right now so it's hard for me to even put a post together about all that is going through my mind. 

I'm leaving this week for a work conference in Arizona and will be sure to come back with lots of pics and updates next week!  Hope you all have a wonderful week!!

-L

Green Flowers

I just wanted to tell you all the cutest thing.  E and I have been discussing how we are going to save some money for all this IF stuff.  So last night he comes home and tells me he brought me home green flowers.  I was so confused until he led me to his wallet where he had taken cash out of the bank and handed it to me.  "See green flowers!" he said with a smile on his face.  We decided to put back a chunk of money every week in a hidden envelope and E was just getting that plan started.

I realize this might not be cute to y'all, but I swear he is adorable and I love that he put this plan in motion for us!

Today I went in for day 2 of my Lupron Challenge Test.  Not sure if I told you exactly what this is and I'm not sure I know exactly either.  From what I understand it's to evaluate my FSH, LH, and Estradiol secretion before and after pituitary stimulation with Lupron. Patients who show a higher increase of estradiol and LH after the Lupron are capable of developing more eggs and using lower quantities of fertiltiy drugs .  They also said it helps test the quality of my eggs.  I also had a culture done today.

I'm still figuring out this insurance stuff.  I am 100% sure I did not pay any dedcutible last year.  I think the new RE office is not coding or asking the insurance for testing coverage.  So I'll give them a call since God forbid the lady at the office goes the extra step to be correct.

-L